Access Denied

I was tired before I even got to work this morning because me and the Amazon traveled to the outer edge of civilization last night. While I visited the nail salon, she went across the road and got dog food. It was an uneventful trip, other than the nearly two year old belonging to the nail tech becoming attached to the Amazon and trying to go home with us.

Anywho, so I was tired and moving a little slower than usual when I got to the office. Bubbles greeted me with her bestest Shirley Temple impression. "We're going to have a GOOD day. NOT like yesterday," she said while violently shaking her head from side to side to make her point.. or because she likes to hear the sound of the air whooshing around in her head, I'm not sure which. "Everything is going to go SMOOTH and we're going to be HAPPY."

I looked at her, one eyebrow raised. "What the HELL are you ON? And does it require a prescription?"

"Ohhhh Mahala... you're such a grumpy butt!!!" she answered, giggling and bobbing her head from side to side. She really is clueless how close she comes to meeting a mysterious, untimely death on a daily basis.

I hid in my office as much as I could. I don't think I'm any harder to get along with than the next person, I just don't have a lot of patience before coffee. Speaking of coffee, it wasn't long before my morning intake required a visit to the little girls room. I went to down the hall, turned the corner and faced the closed door.

Dang. Occupied.

I took a deep breath and went back to my desk. I worked a little longer, drank more coffee and tried again.

Closed.

I wondered if Thelma was in there, she's admitted to hiding in there on particularly stressful days and taking mini naps. It wouldn't matter except that there's only the one ladies throne in the office. If she wants to take a power nap she should go out in the plant and snooze in one of the stalls.

I sat at my desk and worked, only half way concentrating, one ear cocked in the direction of the hallway bathroom. I was ready to leap to my feet and make a beeline for the potty if heard the door click open.

I waited, I whistled.. I drank more coffee.. I like to tempt fate.

About mid morning, my phone rang. It was Lulu, asking if I'd been trying to get in the bathroom.

"Yeah.. did someone go in there and croak?" I asked.

"No, someone closed and locked the door when they came out of there this morning."

Gawd.

Now, I could go out to the previously mentioned stalls, but that's where the female plant employees go to sneak and smoke. I don't want to be one of those ex-smokers and I know it's been nearly seven months since I quit, but it wouldn't take much for me to come up with an excuse to fire one up and I just didn't think it would be a good idea to go out there.

So I sat.. and drank more coffee.. because I'm stupid that way. Maintenance was on the case and I knew it would only be a matter of time before they got in there. When they finally got the door open, I nearly took down two managers and one feisty little Cuban as I went flying down the hall, waddling like the wind in my purple fuzzy slippers.

I just made it.

Anywho, I'd better get back to work. We've almost got this week licked. Ya'll have a good one.