Thursday, September 28, 2006

I Need a New Job

Ya know, if I had a normal job in a normal office, I wouldn't have anything to write about.

During a conversation with our controller today, I learned that the corporate internal auditor was in town at the other plant watching over inventory preparations. He and I have a love/hate relationship that goes back to my accounting days. He calls me slacker, I call him asshole, you can just feel the love when he's around. Before I go on, let me make it clear that I don't make a habit of calling our corporate management assholes when they come to visit. Just Jim.

Also during my conversation with our controller, I mentioned the snake incident from yesterday. I received alot of ribbing over it for no reason other than the fact that they all know how I feel about snakes.

I thought that was the end of it.

This afternoon I got a phone call from Jim, saying he'd heard I was doing table dances yesterday and that I'd only made two bucks. I laughed it off, but he just doesn't know when to stop when he's on a roll. He said he was coming by the office tomorrow with the controller and one of my former supervisors and they expected a table dance, but I had to wear a Hooters t-shirt and they wanted a bucket of wings to go with it.

That's the company contoller, the corporate internal auditor and another accounting manager demanding a table dance in a Hooters t-shirt and a bucket of wings... for five bucks by the way, from a peon sales clerk.

Do they not realize that I could OWN THEM over shit like that?

Towards the end of the conversation, he made this comment, "As the internal auditor for (insert corporation name here) it's my duty to inform you that table dances are against our policy."

To which I replied, "I'm no expert but I'm pretty certain that there's a policy against corporate officers calling sales clerks and demanding a table dance, with wings, for five bucks."

After that I'd made him nervous and he suddenly had to go.

I thought about it for a while and although I'd never admit it or let on that it bothered me at all, it sort of did. I decided that there was a way I could win, without stirring up a big stink. I went back to the general manager's office, knowing he'd go along with what I had planned. You have to remember, he's had at least three (that we know of) sexual harrassment suits brought against him. We talked a few minutes, then he made a phone call of his own.

"Hey Jim, we need to talk. We've got a situation over here. Mahala's upset over a phone call she got from you and I'm not sure how I'm supposed to handle it on a corporate level. How about you tell me just what exactly it was you said to her that has her sitting here in my office in tears?"

Oh he was good too, brought up the corporate attorney's name, suggested that he give the CEO a call. I couldn't hear the other side of the conversation, but I know Jim and I know he was backstroking like an olympic athlete. He drug it out for about twenty minutes, it was priceless.

When he just couldn't take it anymore, he let Jim off the hook and told him I wasn't really upset at all. Then he ended it with this, "You're just lucky Mahala's a good sport. Don't call here making comments like that to my employees again."

HA.

What is the damned deal with the sexual harrassment bullshit in that place??? Men just look at Bubbles wrong and she's filing complaints, I'm getting table dancing requests from the corporate officers yet we have to attend meetings every year and sign forms stating we've not been "harrassed" in the past 12 months.

God help them if they ever write me up for anything or try to fire me. I'll own that place.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

ohh...men are such little boys.

But I'm thrilled with the one i've had for 36 years. In fact we celebrate our anniversary this month.

Loner said...

Funny thing is, even though you don't like this guy and he doesn't have the sense God gave a flea, you probably taught him a valuable lesson - and possibly saved him a lot of trouble down the road.

Anonymous said...

Ye gods. What an idiot. I'm not sure I'd have let him off the hook so easily. But hopefully he's learned something from the situation.

Anonymous said...

Would you really want to own that place? What with the snakes and the creeps, you'd have your hands full. Little do they know what a smart cookie they have on thier hands.

DG

Karen Townsend said...

Back in the olden days, my first real fulltime job was at a Chevy dealership. I look back now and realize what a financial opportunity I missed. Although back then it was lots harder to prove harrassment. It was always the woman's fault, you know. Auto salesmen were really a sleazy bunch. Too much time on their hands.

kenju said...

It does sound as if you are in the driver's seat! I can't believe that guy would say those things to you - given the current situation in business with harrassment charges, etc. I don't have that problem, since in my business, most of the men are of a different persuasion.

Mahala said...

Robbie: Wow!! 36 years? Congrats!!!

loner: I regret that I didn't tell him off.

tori: You'd think they'd learn after a while.

DG: I'd turn the place into a huge indoor flea market / petting zoo / putt-putt course!!!

karen: I'm sure the fact that I go along with it at the time (I don't have the nerve to stand up to them) would probably work against me. I always want to tell them where to go, but instead I laugh like a huge idiot then come home and feel like crap over it.

kenju: I miss my friends back home who were of that other persuasion. Best friends a girl can have :)