We're home. The trip took longer than we expected, we hit a snarl about half way home. The original plan was to stop and pick up groceries in Big City, but I was too tired, sweaty and in a general state of ickieness to venture into Walmart. The Amazon used the term "filmy." I ended up stopping at the grocery store, sending the Amazon in to pick up a few things, including her own birthday cake (sorry Merritt.) I'm sure it'll be some time before she lets me live it down.
I did get into a bit of a road tiff with a big eighteen wheeler on the way. He was bobbing and weaving in and out of traffic like he was driving a VW Bug. I stayed out of his way until I saw him creep up on a little old lady, getting right up on her bumper and trying to bully her into moving along.
I'm sorry, but it pissed me off.
I waited until he got in the fast lane, then I decided to bust a move, Andretti style and maneuver myself into position in front of the truck. I be-bopped along until the front end of the hippy van was even with that of another big eighteen wheeler.
Let the games begin!
Truck #2 and I held Mr. Impatient in position behind us until he was good and pissed off. This is no lie, at one point he was so close to the back of my vehicle, that I could see his radiator out of the back of the van, through the grill of his truck. I'm guessing, six inches from the hippy van at the most. Time to start tapping the brakes.
I just love when they get that look on their face like they just dumped a load in their Dickies.
I kept it up until he backed off and stayed back there for a while, then I went on my way.
Was it a stupid thing to do? Of course. Will I pull something like that again? Honestly? Probably.
You see, my parents were dragging me to demolition derbies at a very early age. Ma often tells the story of how she and my father argued (because he was, afterall, a festering boil on the left butt cheek of humanity) the first time, she afraid that the noise would scare me. I was only two. The first crash of the evening took place right in front of our place in the bleachers, one of the cars slamming into the wall. Ma cringed, expecting me to wail, when instead I squealed with joy, clapping my hands, begging for more.
Later, Pop always had at least one souped up Chevy in the driveway and Ma was bad to pull up along side people at stop lights, racing the motor, enticing them to race. I don't remember her ever losing.
So you see, I can't really help it. I love to drive. Fast. But I'm forced to drive a 12 yr old van, with Mardi Gras beads and graduation tassles hanging off the rear view mirror, the "door is ajar" light stays on continuously and something new falls off the damned thing everytime I drive it.
Soooo yeah, I was a little careless and stupid. But damn, it felt good.
3 comments:
Oh My God, you drive just like I do! I love it! Actually I don't do that much anymore, I was driving down I-4 in Orlando one evening with the cruise set on the speed limit while this idiot festered away behind me. He finally figured out how to pass me, then he pulled in front of me and stopeed and got out of his car and started back toward me . . . I decided I needed to let the idiots drive the way they want to or start carrying a loaded gun in car, blood stains are so hard to get out of the paint.
DG
LOL yes, those pesky blood stains! I'm not normally all "road ragey." I'm usually pretty laid back if I get cut off and I'll gladly get out of someone's way if they're in a hurry, but I was definitly peeved when this guy was bearing down on that poor little old woman.
As long as the stains are on the outside they won't be so bad, I just bought a red car (a 99 Eldorado with 11,700 miles on it (I was loking for something plush with not a ton of miles on it, this is a homerun on that account.) But the interrior is cream leather, I don't know how I will ever keep that clean.
Have a fun weekend!
DG
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