Shattered Dreams, Bambi and Reference to Butts and Boobs

News from the Cubicle Asylum:

Today, I was sitting at my desk, working hard and minding my own business, when I heard Bossman over in Bubbles' cubicle saying, "I've got a project for you, I'm going to need for you to fly out to L.A. next month to visit "insert customer name here."

L.A.?

Bubbles normally tries very hard to speak properly while at work. She's been raised "country" and normally speaks "country" but knows that when speaking to customers on the phone or to Bossman, her country dialect can be grossly misinterpreted as ignorance. Now, Bubbles has never been on a plane, or even in an airport for that matter and is adamant that she never will. His statements to her triggered a gut reaction that had me rolling in the floor. Her reply to Bossman, "Ohhhh son you kin do just whatevah the heck you feel like you need to do but this ol' girl ain't gittin on no plane. Gawd didn't intend for me to fly.. do you see any feathers on me? I don't think so, you can just for-git that crap."

I, on the other hand, got overly excited and fled to the cubicle wall, suddenly becoming what can only be described as the love child of Horshack (from Welcome Back Kotter) and Tigger, bouncing up and down, waving my chubby little hands in the air, announcing "OOOO OOO OOOO... ME ME ME.. I'LL GO.. I'LL FLY... NO PROBLEM!!!!"

In the mean time, Bubbles was still letting him have it with both barrells, "I've got two babies at home, I can't go a'leaving them with their daddy for more than a day, I'm surprised he can even wipe his own butt and YOU expect ME to run off leavin' him in charge of the house? Are you crazy? I've got goats to tend to, one's fixin' to pop any day and hubby, he ain't deliverin' no goats!! I ain't doin' it, you kin fire me or whatever, hell I'll git my crap and put it in a box right now if you want....."

I had stopped bouncing and was now peering over the wall like Kilroy, only my eyes, the top of my head and my chubby little fingers visable.

"No.. seriously.. I'll go.. I'll do it," I said.

It was then that the expression on Bossman's face broke out into a grin, followed by a giggle, which lead to a full-on belly laugh complete with tears, his little round face blood red.

"I love f'in with you two." Then he went to regain control of himself in his office. I looked at Bubbles, and in unison we announced, "Paybacks are hell."



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When Critters Invade:

I took this picture out in the parking lot the other day. It's not the shot I was trying to get. I knew deer were skittish, but I never realized they were camera shy.



In other critter news, Lulu, while taking her daily fitness walk up and down the hill (in 90 degree heat mind you) nearly stepped on a slightly mooshed snake (a victim of vehicular manslaughter no doubt). Being the curious hillfolk that we all are, it was examined by the entire office staff throughout the day (I of course, observed it from the safety of the hippy van). After much discussion, it was determined that it was a Copperhead, at which time we demanded that the grass needed mowing and those of us who are less brave than the others decided that we would return to parking in the "guest parking" spaces, as we did after the black snake invasion of a couple of months ago. This way, it would be easier to sprint to the front steps with less chance of encountering any of the slithering little demons.

There also has suddenly appeared, a huge rooster on the property. We don't know where he came from, but he's out there strutting around every morning when we get to work. I think he heard that the females in our resident flock of turkeys have loose morals and has moved in with the hopes of a little interspecies breeding. I've tried to get a shot of the rooster, but I have an aversion to chickens (I was flogged once by an angry hen) and whenever I get close enough to get a picture, the little bastid makes a sudden move and I find myself in danger of soiling my granny panties.


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And now.... You Googled What???

It's been a long while since I've shared some of the more interesting searches that have brought surfers here. When I first moved the site, from it's former incarnation, it took a while before stuff starting showing up in search engines, then some funky code error or some other mysterious internet thingie caused it to stop completely for a couple of weeks last month. But now, thankfully, it's fixed and once again we can take a look at the links, in order of appearance.

1. colin farrell dessarae bradford altercation video (damn, could you be a little more specific?)

2. butch haircut (which I don't have by the way, in case you were wondering)

3. dating craig ferguson (sorry to disapoint whoever was looking for that)

4. who is craig ferguson dating (do you see a pattern developing here?)

5. eastern continental divide google earth georgia (I've only been to the eastern continental divide in NC, sorry)

6. capital one pillagers commercial (that's my favorite)

7. under boob (what the hell?)

8. knoxville hills

9. who is craig ferguson dating (look people, the only thing that matters is it's not me, and believe me, my disapointment is much greater than yours)

10. Mahala

11. mahala butt (okay, just.. EWWW)

And on that note, I'm off to tidy up after dinner, which was scrambled eggs, grits, gravy and biscuits. It is our traditional "tomorrow's payday, so scrape up what you can find" dinner. If I don't get paid in the morning, tomorrow night's main course will be a feisty rooster who has a fondness for turkeys.